Finding a balance between caring and being cared for

Formerly the pillar of the family, the independently minded Siu Yu had become reliant on her daughter for everything and worried she was a family burden. To ease her mother’s fears, Ms Ng attended to Siu Yu’s emotional as well as physical needs, offering daily encouragements such as, “Days like these are beyond our control. But we can make the most of every day and do what we want while we still can.” To help Siu Yu adapt to the changes that come with aging, Ms Ng made every effort to help her maintain her habits and routines, such as taking her out grocery shopping and for dim sum. When they were out, she also acted as her mother's eyes, patiently describing the scenery along the way. What might seem like simple companionship actually entailed immense dedication and effort on Ms Ng’s behalf as a caregiver.

Changes in physical health can affect mental and emotional well-being. So as well as meeting Siu Yu’s essential daily needs, Ms Ng adjusted her approach and communication-style to suit her mother’s changing requirements. She acknowledged they had disagreements at times, but stressed the importance of keeping open communication to reach a mutual understanding. “As a caregiver, you can’t expect to be perfect all the time. You have emotions too, which you can’t always suppress. Bottling up your feelings can eventually lead to anxiety or exhaustion. It’s important to tell the person you’re caring for your limits, so you can understand and support each other better."